"Live from New York, it’s Monday night!!!"
Okay, so it isn’t exactly the "Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Players." But from that same studio where "Saturday Night Live" is filmed, one of those players is telling the country that he thinks he IS ready for prime time.
"The Colin Quinn Show," which airs on NBC Mondays at 9:30 p.m., is performed live before a studio audience, and this past week the audience included me. My sister was in town, so it certainly made her trip a little bit more exciting. We took the bus from Washington Street in Hoboken to Port Authority (no, that wasn’t the exciting part of her trip). Then we grabbed a cab out front and hastily directed the driver to NBC Studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. No doubt, the cabbie thought we were television industry bigwigs racing to a high-level meeting to pitch our new blockbuster comedy series.
Anyway, once we were in NBC building, we were informed that there would be quite a wait before seating, so it was downstairs for a slice of pizza and a drink. Upon coming back upstairs, we hopped into a serpentine queue and began the hour-and-a-half wait before finally being shown our seat in the Saturday Night Live studio.
After another 10 or 15 minutes, the "fluffer" came out to warm up the audience with a few jokes, to see if we still had the ability to laugh after all that waiting. He took a few pot-shots at members of the audience, the standard "where are you from, what’s the deal with white people" stuff. At one point, he described New Jersey as a place where homeless people should be sent to defecate, but other than that, he was pretty funny.
Following that, Colin Quinn himself came out to warm up the crowd briefly before the live taping began.
Then – five, four, three, two, one – the applause lights came on and the studio erupted. Quinn opened with a clever monologue delivered while holding a rolled up newspaper, a paper that was probably the source for his straight-from-the-headline observations. As the show went to commercial, it cut to a mock public service announcement about people telling unfunny jokes – a la SNL’s classic "mockommercials."
The next scene was sort of a pass-the-conch stand up comedy relay, featuring six comedians offering their two cents in the subject of diversity and cultural sensitivity. It was similar to "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" (Weeknights at 12:15 a.m. on ABC), the difference being that, ALL these guests were funny.
With one exception of course…
The panel included America’s favorite rabidly outspoken, recently out-of-the-closet talk show host, Rosie O’Donnell, who, since her "shocking" announcement that she is a lesbian, has made herself more visible than the Goodyear Blimp at an All-Star Game (try not to read too much into that comparison). She rambled on with some tedious little anecdote about her son Parker explaining lesbianism to one of his friends on a play date by comparing it to magnetic toy trains that don’t link.
On the other end of the spectrum was "The Opie & Anthony Show’s" (Weekdays from 3 to 7 p.m. on 102.7 WNEW-FM) frequent guest Jim Norton, whose brand of humor is more abrasive than the two-day stubble on his razor-shaved head. He pragmatically preached about the disparity of disdain between comics telling jokes about mentally handicapped people and "serious" actors humorously portraying them on the big screen. What was most interesting was watching Norton and O’Donnell frigidly interact when the show went to commercial.
It was then that Dr. Evil himself, Producer Lorne Michaels, strolled out onto the set. I thought about asking him for a writing job, but I figured he might be too busy to interview me in the middle of a live taping. Another sketch followed the commercial break. Then, suddenly, the show was over.
My one complaint would be that the show was too short, since there was a lot of funny stuff packed into that half hour and it seemed like there was more that could be said. Nevertheless, I want to thank my buddy Curtis, who works on the show, for hooking me up with the tickets. For information on where you can score ticket for this and any NBC Studios program, call (212) 664-3056.
And Mr. Michaels, if you want to get in touch with me about a job, OR…
If you know how I can effectively waste $50 in the metro area, please write to:
"Hal Wastes His Wages"
c/o The Hudson Current
1400 Washington Street
Hoboken, New Jersey 07030
Or via e-mail:
Current@hudsonreporter.com