Sandy O’Connor is a vibrant, young mother who moved to Hoboken two years ago with her husband, Keith, to begin their lives together and start a family. Sandy and Keith had only just moved to a larger apartment in Hoboken on Sept. 1 with their two-year-old daughter Rhiannon. "We were really a fairly traditional family," said Sandy O’Connor last week. "Keith and I agreed that I’d stay home, raise Rhiannon, manage the finances, and he’d go to work."
The O’Connor family was irrevocably changed on Sept. 11, when Keith was killed at work in the World Trade Center. Since then, O’Connor has been spending as much time trying to adjust to being a single parent and sole head of household as she has spent coping with her grief.
"I’m in a weird situation," she said. "I’m a 30-year-old widow who suddenly has to learn how to do things as the sole decision-maker. I have completely new responsibilities and practical issues to deal with that I’d never expected."
For the last few weeks, O’Connor has been searching for other people who lost loved ones as a result of the attack on Sept. 11, who are going through the same experience of having to re-orient themselves in a new world – a world coupled with tremendous emotional pain and new, hitherto unknown demands.
"It sounds strange," said O’Connor, "but I’m feeling more like being with complete strangers who were affected by Sept. 11 than I do family or friends. I want to be with people who I can hang out with, who won’t act differently towards me, because they are going through the same experience themselves."
It’s with the hope of creating such a community that Sandy began collaborating with Laurie Wurm, a missioner of All Saints Episcopal Parish, to begin a support group at the church on the corner of Seventh and Washington streets in Hoboken.
"The support group will be open to everyone who is going through the loss of a loved one as a result of the terrorist attack," Wurm said last week. "I’ll facilitate the support group with the goal of helping participants identify their emotional, spiritual and practical needs, but in reality, the members of the group will actually be supporting each other, with All Saints offering any resources it can."
The first meeting of the support group will be held on Friday, Nov. 16 at 5 p.m. All subsequent meetings will be on Fridays at 7 p.m. If you’ve lost a loved one in the Sept. 11 tragedy and are interested in joining the support group or getting more information, please call Laurie Wurm at 792-0340, ext. 13. The group is open to residents from all over Hudson County. Childcare will be provided.
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AFTER THE FALL – When the south tower of the World Trade Center collapsed Sept. 11, observers on the Hudson waterfront joined hands for a prayer circle. Now, residents who’ve lost loved ones in the disaster are hoping to join each other for a support group to deal with their bereavement.