(Note to reader: James Dean would have been 90 this month.)
He’d be stopped on the street and complimented on his brand of pork sausage.
He’d be counseling Robert Downey Jr.
He’d be a celebrity guest on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
Hawking the cowboy boots he wore in Giant on eBay
Donning a comb-over to cover his receding hairline.
Campaigning for Gore.
Marrying Eva Marie Saint, Tuesday Weld and Tina Turner, fathering a child by each.
One daughter would become a nun, a son would squander his trust fund, and another daughter would marry Randy Quaid and have a recurring role on General Hospital.
He’d live in a duplex on the Upper East Side of Manhattan while owning a mansion in Holmby Hills, Calif.
Would have been cast as Fred Savage’s uncle in The Wonder Years.
Made three sequels to Rebel Without a Cause.
Gone to England to study Shakespeare.
Performed Hamlet throughout the Midwest.
Lived in sin with Georgia O’Keefe.
Formed his own production company just to film Kerouac’s On The Road, in which he played the lead.
Became part of Sinatra’s Rat Pack.
Took up golf.
Drank with Tab Hunter, Troy Donahue and Ed “Kooky” Burns.
Made disparaging remarks about Leonardo Di Caprio’s posse.
Did a full hour with Rosie O’Donnell.
Had eight Oscar nominations, one for playing D’Artagnon in The Three Musketeers Return.
Be part owner of Johnny Rockets.
Continually be denying Vanilla Ice was his illegitimate son
Have his close friendship with Allen Ginsburg misinterpreted.
Had a punchout with Marlon Brando over the latter’s interpretation of Kurtz in Apocalypse Now.
Switched from Wranglers to Dockers because the promotion deal offered a higher percentage.
Had his waist liposuctioned.
Been cast as a villain in one of the Batman movies.
Been cast as a serial killer in one of the teen horror flicks.
Traveled to India with the Beatles.
Played bass with Sha Na Na.
Sat in at the Bottom Line with Keanu Reeves’ band Dogstar.
Arrived barefoot for the 1970 Academy Awards.
Punched out James Caan at a Playboy Mansion party.
Accused Terrence Stamp of copying him.
Punched out by Steven Segal at an AIDS fundraiser.
Played himself on The James Dean Story, an ABC miniseries produced by Aaron Spelling.
Crashed his Jaguar into Spelling’s mansion, later apologizes citing “creative differences.”
Down and out, called Erik Estrada in 1978 begging for part in Chips.
Guest hosted Candid Camera.
Was cut from Dances With Wolves, threatened to sue Kevin Costner.
Costner patched things up by allowing him to produce Waterworld.
Attempted suicide after Waterworld reviews came out.
Nursed back to health by Bea Arthur, who became his companion.
Had recurring role in Golden Girls.
At this moment would be starring with Karl Malden in Neil Simon’s The Sunshine Boys at Papermill Playhouse in Millburn. – Joe Del Priore